Writing for the sake of writing...

You know it's a really good thing that I don't write on a deadline or maybe writing on a deadline is exactly what I need. When I don't feel like I have to write, I don't. I think of a million things to write about everyday and I think to myself "I need to blog about that.", and then I don't. Then those miraculous, tasty, vividly intriguing creative thoughts are gone,  "poof!" washed away in the sea of electrical impulses coursing through my brain, dissolved into nothingness. What am I trying to say anyway? What is my goal? Do I write as a cathartic activity to purge my thoughts as a form of emotional dumping? Do I write for notoriety? Do I write to entertain? Maybe all of the above.


I find that I generally write when things in my life feel a bit stressful, maybe a little hectic. Maybe I need to find order somewhere, so placing my thoughts in the written form and analyzing them seems like a naturally subconscious way for me to cope. Honestly, I have no idea. All I know is that I need to get back in the regular practice of it.


So far 2011 has not been half bad (despite being sick the first two weekends of the new year). I have been working on improving my health from every angle and the work is paying off (I reiterate, despite the two bouts of sickness mentioned previously, really two isolated incidents, flukes really). My anxiety, which can be fairly debilitating at times, has waned. Occasionally it starts to rear it's ugly head and I will feel tightness in my chest and the speed of my breath quicken, but a few deep breaths and a mantra of "it's all okay, you're just fine", stuns the anxiety snake enough so that it loosens it's constricting force on my mind and body. It is a hell of a lot better than it was only just a year ago.

I am thankful that this is my only affliction and that I'm not one of those people that shows up on TLC's "My Strange Addiction" eating couch cushions or owning 20+ cats (although the latter could possibly happen in the future!) . Yes, I did say eating couch cushions...I know...not sure there is enough therapy for that one.


On that note, I bid thee goodnight!
Here's to another healthy week!


P.S. Check those couch cushions now and then, you just never know about some people!