I received a phone call a couple of weeks ago that prompted me to reflect on my journey in this life. A phone call that enabled me to realize that when my life was chaos I never even became aware of it, until now. Now, I have to come to the understanding that I left that chaos behind me and everything from here on out is small potatoes. I feel nothing but straight from the heart empathy for those that still live in “that drama," whatever their particular drama may be. Whether it is a bad break-up, a divorce, a custody battle, a bad haircut, a bad job, a bad childhood, a bad tooth, a bad dog; any and all kinds of drama is just not worth it. You can only do what your actions drive you to do; you cannot let the actions of others define yours. I will reiterate that, you cannot let the actions of others define yours. This has been my mantra for some time now, these are some very wise words spoken to me by a very close family member, who has definitely been through “the drama” and made it out alive.
I was a slave to my ego and my drive for “more, more, and more”; I wish I had stopped to look around and see that I already had everything I needed. Fun-fact alert: Happiness experts report that it is not money, not material things, and not the high-powered 70-hour-a-week job that makes us happy, that gives us that feeling of fulfillment. Do you want to know what does makes us happy, gives us that warm fuzzy feeling and leaves us always wanting more? It’s simple, the possibilities surround us, and it’s called social connection. Yep, that’s right, relationships, social connection, dare I say “love”; those are the things that bring us happiness. If you have strong social relationships and families that support and continue to love you even when you have done some of the dumbest things ever (been there, done that, more than once) then you are golden, you have already won the prize.
Trying to spread this message isn’t easy, because if you're not there yet it’s like you have blinders on. Nobody wants to hear it. They say things like “You don’t understand, you’re married and I’m alone, it’s different." Well to this I say to my singleton friends if my husband left me tomorrow, yes it would suck, yes it would hurt, but I know I would be ok, I would still be alive, I would still have other people in my life who love me, I would remember that his actions can’t define mine. In essence, I would survive in the most basic of biological ways, my heart would continue to beat, I would still be able to breathe, and I would still have the ability to love.
I recently had someone tell me that they could never picture me getting angry. “You’re so mellow, so laid-back, you seem very at peace." I was completely shocked; I had never been described this way in my entire life. I didn’t even realize that I was oozing this quasi-Zen-like quality. I had always been described as the “anxious one," stressed out, too emotional, too sensitive. This was a hard pill for me to swallow. Could I define myself as this new rational, mellow human being? I slept on it and decided it would suit me (and all this without one yoga class!) So, I leave you good folks today with the mantra…, well, you should know it by now. Find your happiness, pick up the phone, and know that there are people out there who care about you, and also know that they could take the form of a complete stranger or already be your “best friend."
I don’t think anyone could have said it better than Anne Frank: “Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart."
Let it go and take a look around,
The Blissful Formerly Unemployed Now Working Housewife
